Magic Wand

I don't like the magic wand.

One of the grocery stores near us recently underwent a massive rearrangement and addition of new features, including the self-scanner checkout wands. Open your grocery bags in your cart, beep scan every item to be purchased as it comes off the shelf, pack your bags as you go, and at the checkout, turn in the scanner and pay. The Monkeys call the hand-held scanner "the magic wand."

I've given it a few tries, with the Monkeys and on my own. Handily, it keeps a running total of purchases, so if you have to make it out of the store under a certain dollar amount, this helps. There are also reminders of items on sale that week. Checkout is pretty fast; no handling every single item again.

However, with kids, stopping to scan every item -- particularly the produce which must be weighed -- stretches their patience. I put the Monkeys together in the plastic "car" nose that protrudes from the front of the cart, so they aren't trying to use the scanner wand, but they keep asking why we are stopping. Previously, when we had an empty aisle, I'd run as fast as I could push the cart, they would scream "WEEEEEEE!" and I'd grab the needed items as we flew by. Happiness for all. The only time they had to wait was at the end of the trip, at the checkout, and there they were good, awaiting their bakery cookie, their prize for staying in the cart.

Without kids, evening grocery shopping on my own, I don't like it either. Dealing with the produce is time-consuming. My reusable bags do not work with the in-cart hooks for keeping shopping bags open. I have to keep rearranging things to keep the bags open or to make things fit. Juggling my shopping list, the scanner wand, and the item to be purchased confuses me, and if I put something down, it is always the wrong thing. And, I like standing in line. Yes -- I like standing in line, just me, in the grocery store. I stop. I relax. I read all the magazine covers. I put my items on the grocery conveyer belt in the order that I want them packed into bags, for easy unloading at home. I thank the checkout clerk.

I don't like the convenience of scan-as-you-go. Also, I wonder, if these self-scanners take off, will that mean the demise of the checkout clerk? I'm turning in my magic wand. In this economy, we need to keep our checkout clerks employed.